Hey, my love, I buried you a month or two ago

So I’ve been sick going on three weeks, and I’m super stubborn when I get sick, I don’t like to go to doctors. Well an ear ache turned into an ear infection turned into pink eye and unfortunately pink eye doesn’t clear up on its own. So, I bit the bullet and went today. Two things to say about that.

1) it is a damn travesty that I have to spend over 100 bucks to see someone in order to be given prescriptions for antibiotics that I have to have in order to get better, that cost about 30. Times like this, that I do miss having a more traditional job where I carried health insurance. It just bothers me that I can’t readily get something to get better without spending so much money. Lame sauce.

2) antibiotics give me really odd, really graphic dreams. Tonight featured me attending the vegfest that I’ll be missing while in Cali. I was eating three different kind of vegan foods that I have never tried before. I was taking pictures of vegan stickers promoting a blog that I don’t have. I was pulled to the side to be shrunk by Mary lambert who was a shrink in my dream and was telling me I was severely depressed. (well duh) my ex came to see my new truck (which I won’t be getting a new vehicle until September and haven’t talked to him in over 7 years and have no intention on doing, however he keeps coming up as a friend you might know on my sisters fb thus leading me to dream about him I suppose) and wrecked it then basically laughed. This is why I consider myself a hippy when it comes to medicine. I don’t like to take it cause it does weird things to me, also I usually have pretty graphic dreams but today was kind of intense.

All that said and done, I’ve been sick for a long time, but I feel like the last two days really kicked my butt. So here I am three days away from leaving and I still have so much to do yikes! Here’s hoping I wake up refreshed, recharged and ready to get ready!

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Two more exits to my apartment

You shouldn’t break yourself to try and save someone,

Especially when they could care less about how you came undone.

Trying to save you I lost me

Pushing and pulling I tried to stay

Kicking and screaming you pushed me away.

But, it doesn’t hurt anymore

I don’t wonder anymore

I think too much, it’s always been a character flaw.

But I don’t think much about you anymore, not even a little bit, Not even at all.

Except when I do,

But all I can do is sadly shake my head and frown

At Just another let down

I had to get out of Texas… it was bringing me down

I can’t believe that in one week I’ll be in beautiful California for a month. It kind of stinks that it got pushed up because I had to cancel some plans, vegfest here in town and the Astros playing the dodgers in la but it’s all good. I’ll come up with new plans, including taking a train ride up the coast cuz why not?I’ve got to get packed, the good news is I’ve found where I’m staying while I’m off. I actually get to stay in the same tiny house I stayed in last year, the price is right and it’s the cutest little yellow house ever! If I take the train, I can just leave my stuff there and bring a backpack. Eek! Can’t wait for the sites! Plus all the vegan foods! So, I am staying a few blocks from where I work, and I could Uber but the walk is amazingly serene and peaceful. As I walk to work, I pass a Main Street that has all the restaurants and I stop and eat breakfast there. I’ve been kind of researching places to eat, and they have a new ice cream spot that has vegan options and I’m super excited. My plan is to do less driving this year and more relaxing and site-seeing! I’m going to miss my niece so much, she’ll turn 4 months old while I’m gone 😢 where does the time go?

We found each other in the dark

But, at least we saved each other from ourselves,Before we destroyed each other.I still maintain, that we didn’t know better.We were just kids, trying to grasp on to love somehow, even when we couldn’t love ourselves.Even when we still can’t love ourselves.

In honor of #noplasticjuly I finally made my own reusable grocery bag out of an old T-shirt. It was super easy, and I can’t wait to actually put it to use! I’m kind of a hoarder of concert tees, and I hate to part with them, but there are quite a few that I have no intention of wearing ever again, and this way I get to save/repurpose some of them. Boom! I’d say I’m about 95% better with the ear infection so perhaps my insomnia will be better. Happy 4th y’all!