Challenge Accepted!

Once again, yours truly has been challenged!  Well we all know this girl has balls (its an inside joke, ask me about it some day) so I accepted!  For the month of November I will be expected to write 1000 words daily.  To keep up with this, I will be writing here.  I will also open the floor to any suggestions, topics to write about, prompts etc if you should so choose to throw your blogger here a bone.  I’ve been thinking a lot about where I am and where I want to be lately.  That’s always the topic at large in my head.  I am in desperate need of a new home church.  It keeps revealing itself in my devotionals and in the back of my mind, I just keep coming back to the same thing.  I need a home church!  Its one thing to read my Bible every day, but quite another to discuss what I am learning and being able to receive feedback of what others are getting from what they are reading.  I’m craving this so much lately.  I am setting a short term goal for myself.  By the end of this year, I will at least be regularly visiting churches, or have found my new home church.  This needs to happen for me to continue on my journey and I have to stop avoiding it.  As a sidebar, my other short term goal is to go to the doctor before the end of my health insurance year which is like March.  I have avoided the doctor even longer than I have avoided going to church.  I am almost positive if not completely positive that I stopped going to church when my great grandma passed away, 4 years ago.  Shame on Amber!  That feels awful to actually admit.  I’m reading a book at the moment I believe its called Shine I think its written by the Newsboys and it talks about how you can tell who the true practicing, give my life to God, christians are based on where they are in life.  Not necessarily status, but whether they are living for Christ, or just living for this world.  My life has been pretty much the same for a few years and I feel like that is because I’m not actually giving Christ my all.  I am sitting here thinking to myself, well you don’t drink, you don’t do drugs, you read your Bible thats enough to get you to Heaven…but is it?  If I’m not blogging, and I’m not writing, then I’m wasting the talent that God gave me.  If I’m wasting my talent, then I am not using it for his good.  If I’m not doing things for Him then why even bother?  I should be furthering His kingdom rather than my own.  We get tied up in our Earthly possessions that we don’t see that they are just that, Earthly possessions.  As much as I’d love to add a tow hitch to my casket, and fill a trailer of all my possessions to take with me to Heaven, at this present time that is just not able to happen.  I feel like I’m jumping all around in this post but bare with me.  I look around at all this clutter I’ve collected in my 29 years and I think to myself, why?  Does it make me happy?  Momentarily maybe but not always and just for a little bit.  That is something I am always trying to find an answer to, how do I make myself happy?  There have been plenty of times where I’ve said to myself, if only I had this gadget, I’d be content or if I had this one, or this one but then after I get said gadget, that feeling of not being complete comes back.  I’ve found that I, myself, am only truly happy when I am putting Christ first.  That’s not to say that by putting Him first, all my problems are erased, because that’s simply not true.  However, by putting Him first, I see that when I am down and out He is there with me.  He never gives up on me, even when I give up on myself.  I need His help to keep me going on this path that I want to be going down.  I need to know someone believes in me when I do not.  I know a lot of people believe in me, but sometimes that doesn’t mean anything when you aren’t feeling it yourself.  Moral of the story, by the end of the year I will find me a new church home!  I am determined to make this happen!  This here is a practice post to determine how hard its going to be to write 1000 words and let me tell you, its not going to be easy!  The thing about my life is that it’s not mine.  When have I had all of the bad vibes coming at me, that is when I think that this life is mine.  When I give my life to Christ, i see that even when bad vibes are coming my way, it’s all good because I have Christ on my side and we are like the power team ready to just kick those bad vibes outta the ball park.  But why then?  For the story.  I want to live my life for the story that we are going to create, for the story that I might create.  I’ve wanted to write since I was a kid when I was like 6 everyone would ask me what I wanted to be and my answer was always a writer.  How can I be a writer if I don’t work on this skill and perfect it.   If I even have this skill that I think I have.  Maybe I’m not cut out to do what I’ve dreamed about my entire life but if I’m not willing to fall flat on my face trying, then what is the point?  Til we meet again readers.

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