I’ve been having some bad self image days lately. Usually I’m pretty carefree wild hair wild soul kind of perspective but when you slimmed down a few years ago just to gain everything lost back, it can kind of be disheartening. But, that’s okay. It’s a journey that I have decided to embark upon. There will be days where everything is great, I go workout, I watch what I eat, I hit the right words and thoughts while journaling, and then there will be days where I don’t want to do those things, where I don’t even want to put pen to paper to capture my thoughts. I went years without writing, years without leisure reading, just because I lost interest in my hobbies. What a waste of time, but I am learning to be okay with time lost.
I think it takes some sort of stillness to really see what needs to be brought to the table, what needs to change for the life you want to live. Your spirituality plays a huge factor into this equation. If you aren’t living for a purpose, what are you living for? Who are you living for? Are you living for this material world, or the next? That question kind of plays to those bad self image days. See, I’ve been lost in this world of, this new gadget will solve all my problems if I just spend x amount of money. Then you purchase said gadget and low and behold life is still the same before you had this “very important, life improving gadget” I spent 100s/1000s of dollars putting holes in my ears, thinking that was improving my outward look for some reason, but why? Those holes hurt, looked gross and sometimes smelled quite frankly.
I’m not sure where I am going with this, but to make a long rambling come to an end, today is a new day and I am choosing happiness. I am choosing to be on a spiritual journey as well as a fitness journey and I know that they are never ending. No shortcuts, just a tad bit of elbow grease and a lot of hard work on my end, and everything will work out according to His will.