Speak Up…

Trying to find your voice, when you have shut it out for so long can be trying to say the least.  So many ideas cross my mind daily, but when I sit to type out a long thought provoking blog post, it comes up kind of empty as usual.  While I’d like to say that I’ve found a groove back into my writing habits, Stella has not found her groove.  One thing I can tell you for a fact, is that my thoughts tend to focus on people, and their actions.  I do a lot of people studying at work.

Why are people so mean to one another?  Customer service, more like customer verbal abuse all day long.  The people I deal with are just awful sometimes, and I don’t understand it.  For one thing, the greed I see on a daily basis can just really sadden your heart, at least it does to me.  We have this monopoly game, and people are so eager to win, they open all these tickets right away, ask other customers for there pieces, get other family members in different states to send them pieces…it’s not that serious.  Couponers buying 25 rolls of paper towels, but why is that necessary?  Patience is no longer a virtue, I get screamed at, or my window knocked on, or my counter banged on if I’m not outside within 10 seconds of a customer walking up to the booth.  Heaven forbid I’m actually doing work…I digress.

Sometimes you get a really terrible customer, and you really don’t understand what is wrong with this person, and you sit and pray about it.  God give me the strength to get through this day and not go Randalls on someone (my new term for postal) and then you find out what makes them tic, and they end up being one of your favorite customers.  That aspect, the relationships forged with customers, is one thing I enjoy about retail, some days it might be the only thing I enjoy, but it is rewarding.

I’m on the market for a new job, I’m shopping around, I can’t do this anymore.  The drive alone is too much for Miss complains a lot over here.  I’d like out of retail, I’d like to finally pursue my passion, I’d like to get away from Randalls.  I want to be published before 30, and I’m fast approaching that wonderful age.  The time for me to go back to school is gearing its little head, I think I will go back and major in creative writing, see if this whole writing thing is even anything that I might be able to do.

Life is good, even with sweating the small things.  it gets better, to one friend in particular that will probably read this, it gets better, it gets better, and even when you think it couldn’t get any better than this, it gets better.  Life is a wonderful journey that we are blessed to be a part of.  I can remember really bad days, exact moments, might be too graphic for this blog, but in that instance what was happening to me, I didn’t think it would ever get better, I thought I’d be in that misery forever, but I’m not, and it did.  The only one that can make life better for you, is yourself, is your faith, is whatever keeps you going.  You can’t just live for this world, that is impossible to do.  This world will break, this world will crumble, the world in which you should want to live for, is eternal.  All the pain felt on this world, is worldly pain, when your soul leaves your body, you won’t even remember that pain.

Going forward, positive vibes only.  I’m really trying hard to keep that mantra going.  I’m very quiet when it comes to things of the personal nature, but I have gone through years of depression, and the last few years or so, I’ve really been trying to claw my way out of that negative funk.  I’ve been doing really great, daily devotionals and journaling, keep my head in the right place, and being around people and not secluding myself from others helps too.  My house, hasn’t been made mine yet, because I was too busy moping about, I decided that my room would be my new happy place, and had it painted the brightest yellow that you ever did see. “Confident yellow” is the name of the paint.  It looks amazing, and I’m hoping to find some confidence too!









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