I think about you, but I shouldn’t
She paints a picture in her head about the way this should have been,
could have been,
might have been.
She hasn’t been home since the age of ten.
Doesn’t quite know where she is going,
kind of ashamed about where she’s been.
She thinks she understands now,
but she doesn’t
and she won’t.
She sits back and watches her story unfold, where it ends no one,
not even her
In a city full of people, its easy to be overlooked. It’s easy to overlook people. You become your routine, wake up, get ready, work, gym, back home, and the people in between don’t really catch your eye and you don’t catch anyones either. You fall into a sort of trance, a daze except when you go to lay your head down and your thoughts grab hold of you. Everything you left unfinished, everything you left unsaid, it all comes rushing back to you as you lay in bed. Sometimes, you hate this time awake, but you’re grateful that the nightmares have stopped. The ones where you’d wake up gasping for air, sore throat, so real that it couldn’t have been just a dream, remember those? Its funny how things linger for so long, long after the person is gone, long after the nightmare you lived, becomes something that keeps you awake at night. You close your eyes for a second, and then the piercing cry of the alarm jolts you awake. How can it be time to wake, when you have barely rest your eyes? The light fries your pupils a bit but you’re happy for another day, a day in which anything could happen, though it probably won’t, but there’s always that chance, and that’s one of those things that you live for. That chance that things could be better, or worse than your current situation. That chance that the stranger you meet on the train, could be the one you grow old with someday. The chance that instead of going into work one day, you call out and find adventure nestled down deep somewhere you haven’t been before. Sand and waves calling to you, amongst the boring every day errands that demand attention. The possibilities day in day out are a gift from God, one that I had never taken the time to notice before. The sun setting over a mountainside, the sun rising on an ocean shore. The beauty of the Earth, the beauty of creation lies before us everyday. To actually open your eyes, and embrace the beauty all around us is a choice we must make daily.