But, what if this is really what it’s all about? What if there are no real answers and no real questions? What if we really are just supposed to trust in Jesus? Of course we are, but what if we trusted in Him, and didn’t worry about trivial things. He makes sure birds eat, are we not just as important as birds? When your world crumbles, who do you seek first? Most of us know, that it should be Him. In fact, it just gets worse when we try to hide, or think that we can manage on our own. Sometimes we have to throw our hands up and be okay with asking for help. Sometimes we all need help, and that’s okay. Hard to admit, but okay to need a little help, or even a lot of help. Isolation is not good for us, even in the garden, God created a companion for Adam. He knew all that time ago, that mankind was not meant to be alone. But, we are never alone, even when we feel like it , as long as we open our heart to Him, he is always there, especially during the worst times. What if we never understand how great His love is, it’s like nothing else in this world. Without it, we would be hopeless. Things of this world, are just that, things of THIS world. I want to live my life not consumed by things of this world, because in the next world, where I plan to spend eternity, those things won’t matter at all. They will be left behind in this world. Our entire lives will be left behind for someone else to keep, to discard, to sort. We can’t take them with us, which if you think about it, kind of makes you want to stop collecting all this clutter that will be left behind. I own one Bible, really two but I use only one, for the most part daily, that I’ve had since I was 8 or so. At the same time, I have too many pairs of shoes to count. I feel like this should be some sort of metaphor about life. Why do I have so many pairs of shoes? Yes, I do have sentimental attachment to that particular Bible, but it feeds my soul daily, why not have several? One day, my words may be the only part of me that remains a part of this world. Did I use them wisely? Did I use them to harm or to help others? Did I use them at all, or did I just keep them to myself, bottled up so as not to be scared of what reaction might come from the words that I wrote. Comfortable is not safe, being scared is safe. Take the world by its ears, and don’t let go until it gives you exactly what you want, and if you don’t get it, that’s alright. At least you tried. No one has ever regretted trying, but lots of people have regretted not even having the guts to make a move, to take a risk, to take a chance. Life is what you make it. The darkness doesn’t last forever, you got to fight it, don’t let it consume you because given the chance it will. No one knows what you are feeling inside, but you. Your friends are your friends for a reason. Tell them what’s going on, let them help you. I guarantee you they care. I guarantee you someone cares, even when your head tells you otherwise. Don’t listen to your head, unless its telling you good things. I promise you we all feel what you’re feeling. You aren’t weird because you’re hurting. Everyone hurts sometimes. The hurt, is a part of life and I promise it gets better. I was in an abusive relationship for several years. Not only physically, but emotionally abusive as well. What can I say from that experience? It gets better! Don’t ever listen to negativity from anyone. You are not worthless, you are everything to someone, you are no ones punching bag, not even your own. Love doesn’t hurt, and if you think it does, the hurt will never stop. You deserve love, everyone does, even you Amber. Don’t let yourself think otherwise. A couple bad experiences shouldn’t shut you down forever to the idea of love. The idea of love is a concept that you will spend years trying to define as well as trying to tell yourself that you don’t need it. But, secretly wishing that you had it. Everyone loves differently, and that’s okay. Your not great with words when it comes to emotions. Your friends hurt and you don’t know what to do, so you hurt right along side them when all you actually want to do is give them a giant hug and assure them that everything will be okay. It will be okay. Even the darkest night makes way for a morning full of light and new opportunities to change the previous days events. You can’t save them all Amber. Sometimes people have to learn how to live on their own. What do you say when you are speechless? Sometimes it doesn’t even matter anyway. The wrong things keep happening to the wrong people, because they keep letting it happen. Meaning, a negative mind and heart, lead to a negative life. There is no easy way to be positive when all you think about are bad thoughts. What can I say? We all live different lives. Some people are stronger than others, some people don’t know what to say and some people take the easy way out. I don’t want to take the easy way out and I don’t want you to take the easy way out. If your alone in this life, I get being scared, but you are not alone…so don’t be scared. New adventures are around the corner, but you have to make it there first. How are you to live an exciting new life in a new place if you can’t even live to see it?
Once again this post is something I did at work. I kind of just turned the paper in squares, starting from the middle and just wrote whatever came to mind. I’ve got a bunch on my mind as usual and I’m not sure how to say everything that I need to say or how to fix everything that I need to fix. Tomorrow is another day though, and I’ll try again. I’ll try every day to be a little bit better, and I hope you will too.